anxiety

I’m wiped out. It was a very late night, or rather, early morning. A restless 9 year old battled bouts of anxiety and excitement until at least 2 AM as her mind raced about the upcoming trip to Grandma’s house. Sans parents. While she finally slept.  I didn’t. It wasn’t that I was particularly nervous for Harper’s week-long adventure in Ocean City with my parents, but rather, my own mind battled missing her. Yes, the week away is giving me some more one on one time with Zane:  an uninterrupted play-date with his best Beaver pal, art class, plus a few other tricks I have up my sleeve, but having Harper take off alone is the first step in her developing an independence – that I want her to have – and yet,...

Who would have thought that a trip to the National Aviary would produce this type of reaction from my all creatures great and small lovin‘ daughter? Well, apparently, she does not like birds. It took one low flying swoop to send my girl into a panic of Hitchcock proportions. Are you seriously asking if I’m being dramatic? Of course I am! That’s not to say there wasn’t panic. Oh, there was panic all right. Not getting trapped in a phone booth type of panic, but rather, locate the nearest exit and vacate the habitat as quickly as possible panic. Upon leaving the building, Harper wouldn’t even go near the pigeons. Pigeons. Even Bert loves pigeons. How will I ever take her on my dream mother/daughter vacation to London, and specifically...

Harper used to be fearful of new things. Apparently, she has scaled that mountain. On July 4th, she took on a 25 foot climbing wall outside Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. The last time she attempted a climbing wall was last October at the First Focus retreat. I was totally excited to see her attempt something as new as this back then. This time, I was completely dumbfounded at how she attacked the hurdle. On her first try, she got half way, turned to look down (not helpful at all), freaked a bit, and lowered herself to the ground. Not to be outdone by the kid next to her, so got back on and began climbing again. Just a third of the way left, she exclaimed, “I can’t do this! It’s too hard!” We told her she was fine and that she COULD do it. And...

My little Z-lion is a bundle of nerves these days. I’ve made mention that he is having a tougher time adjusting to our move than Harper, which has just completely shocked us. In the beginning, he was asking when we were going home, and most recently he has communicated fear that he won’t make any friends. At least he’s talking about it. Today was the first day he verbalized, “Mommy, I am too nervous to go in there,” in reference to reading time at the library. The program is fantastic and includes reading and some songs. Both my kids have NEVER enjoyed group music classes once they reached 3 years old. So, as the kids began the opening song, which was just a silly version of the Wheels on the Bus (which was cute) Zane would not...

I was an avid journal keeper until just after I had children. I enjoyed the process of searching for the perfect blank journal, and then sitting in a coffeehouse every morning with my cup, bagel, and pen in order to hand write my thoughts during restful moments of quiet before heading off to work. I believe I spurred on many Trinity gals to the joys of keeping a journal. I pray that these women have continued the discipline. I suppose my blog is now my journal. It just feels different – almost too easy. There is something so very immediate about the process of writing electronically as opposed to using a bound blank book and a pen for means of documenting personal reflection and contemplation: The ability to get one’s thoughts out so quickly, to...

We are fighting the dark side. The car. Humana. But it’s not the actual situations that fatigue me. Things break down all the time. There are always bills to pay. I’m not one to expect smooth sailing. And while I’m not altogether stressed about the actual situations themselves, as I believe that ultimately they will be repaired, I must be honest and say that I awoke feeling low this morning over the prospect of the time it takes to remedy situations such as these. I’m straight-up done putting any more energy into the car and Humana. See, what is wearing me down is the time I’ve already given and will have to continue to give to these issues. Waiting an hour for a tow. Getting the car home. Getting the car towed back to our...